; Megnificent ♥

Grades are a mess, I’m totally not motivated to study or anything even though I KNOW I’ll retain for sure if I don’t get down to it. Sometimes its like, why am I doing this again? Feels so pointless and I just want to quit school and join the circus and go all over the world or move to Spain and join a dance troupe or something ridiculous like that.
But I’m here now, and I have to do what I’m supposed to. I’m a student and my responsibility now is, to study and do well. SIGH LIFE SUCKS SOMETIMES.

~

The other night I was trying to fall asleep and I started thinking about death and why people are afraid of it. I thought about why I don’t want to die, and I think I don’t want to die cos it’ll make other people sad. Sounds so noble and all, but its true!
I’ll go out on a limb here and say that, if I die tomorrow, it’ll prolly make people sad The thought of people crying and mourning for me, lining up to put flowers on my coffin, just gives me chills and I don’t want to be the source of grief for all these people!
So, noble as it may sound, the reason I don’t want to die is because I don’t want to make other people sad. If I were completely alone, I wouldn’t mind, cos if I die, I’ll just be dead.

Then I started thinking that I don’t want to die cos there are so many things that haven’t happened yet. Things I haven’t experienced, like falling in love or breaking a bone or having sex or even just DRIVING; and more importantly: things I haven’t had the chance/courage to do, like tell certain people how much I love them.

And then I think I fell asleep.

This has been a rather morbid post