; Megnificent ♥

Ever felt alone in a crowded room? I have, and I don’t like it. It’s like watching a movie, a movie that you used to have a role in, but somehow the writers must have killed off your character, cos you don’t fit in anywhere anymore.

It sucks but I’ve been feeling so very alone recently. I’ve still got the same people I know, but things just seem to be breaking down on me. I don’t have anyone I can tell stuff to, anyone I’m really myself around. There’s always something I have to cover up, if not they’ll think know how awful I am. I can’t tell A that I am Completely and Utterly disgusted by B; I can’t tell C that my friendship with A is dying; I can’t tell B that I think C doesn’t like me; I can’t tell freaking anyone anything, so I’m resorting to beating around the bush and coming up with code names and writing mysteriously on this blog. How wonderful is my life?

I am so tired of everything. Mentally and emotionally drained, enough is enough! I want to say that, but sometimes there are certain things that you just can’t do. Things that would be rude or disrespectful.
Ever had those movie moments? When you play out what you WANT to do in a situation, then you blink and reality is staring you in the face and you can’t do anything but the “right” thing. I have myself on a mental leash 24/7 nowadays, so I don’t go berserk and flip out on anyone.
Running away, not as hard as I thought.

I’m becoming such an annoying person. I annoy myself.
But Thank God I have a few wonderful, unchanging people that keep me sane and happy.