; Megnificent ♥

Well, O’s results are out.
I did okay I guess, though its been feeling a little sucky I admit; but I guess its all His will – what I get, where I go, it’s all in God’s hands. Trust Him is all I should do, and things will work out for good.

I know the plans I have for you,” this is the solemn declaration of the LORD, “plans for well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and hope
Jeremiah 29:11

Lord, I need you now more than ever. Not my will but Yours.

I hate you.

You attack anyone and everyone possible, you make things difficult. You mar people’s impressions of other people, you cause awkwardness between friends. Once you start it’s difficult to stop, and almost near impossible to reverse. I can’t take this, I hate how you’ve ruined things that would have otherwise been really good.

Screw you, Gossip.

Stay love, where you running to?
Awful happens all the time, don’t let it kill you.

This should make sense, and I should be “inspired” to do “the right thing”, but I’m not.

Oh screw this. I’m sick of people telling me what I should and should not do, and being worried about what people think or say. I don’t really care, okay? And people shouldn’t either, cos it is so nothing to do with them anyway. Okay maybe it does, in a way; it sounds stupid but I don’t want people to think that they can guilt me into doing things, or that I’m so easily influenced by what they say.

And people who don’t normally give a shit are coming and talking like, ohmygosh this is SO WRONG you should be stoned. Like YOUR all great and all, your just telling other people not to cos you want to but you didn’t.

“The right thing to do”, doesn’t seem so clear anymore does it. I guess there’s no wrong or right, more of what you think you should be doing. I’m trying okay. Now if some people would just stop being so bloody self righteous and let me be.

I’m being such a bitchface now. I’m tired and I’m upset and I’m so confused. I’m sorry I’m just pissed off, I’ll cool off soon enough.
Don’t stone me.

You made me melt that night (: Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

Come away, come away
From all these things unheard
If a chosen word has got you cornered
Then it’s a lesson learned
Like close the book before it burns you.
Come away, come away
From all these things unseen
At the price you paid I promise you won’t believe anything they say
Belief will only disappoint you

“… fearing the power your smile has over the whole course of my day.”
Why in the world does is this kind of line starting to apply? This is not good.

I have to stop having these “moments”. They can’t be good for health.

You’ll break hearts if you keep smiling like that.
Goodnight ♥

Okay this is weird. Thinking recently about some stuff made me realize that though you think you get over it, you never rly do, some part of you never completely lets go. I think I’ve uncovered that part of myself.

Last time, I didn’t really know anything, and the choice I made was one of a young fool, very happy, but very foolish. Now I’ve seemed to have come full circle, back where I was about a year ago. But its different now, a year’s past, and I now know things that I didn’t know back then, I’ve come to realize that maybe, my first instinct was right.

Its a strange place I’m in right now. Reminds me of June ‘08, its very much like. Gosh talk about not knowing what you want then realizing it was there all along, cliched much.

I’m not gonna say “I wish this never happened”, cos I don’t. I’m glad for everything that happened, this year, last year, the year before that.
Love.