; Megnificent ♥

I feel really stupid now. Like really awful and I have no one to blame but myself. In about an hour today, I disappointed someone, I offended someone else and I showed another person just how superficial and hopeless I am. All from the comfort of my own bedroom, sitting at my desk. Wonderful.
Life’s great by the way, just awesome.

There’s that RUNAWAY feeling again. Now its more like a DIG A HOLE AND HIDE TILL ETERNITY ENDS feeling.

Help.

What would you do if you had no friends? Rhetorical question, completely. But I got to thinking about it myself the past few days. What WOULD I do? I guess I would be pretty freaked out, and I would cry (haha duh) and I would go look for new ones. I think that’s what most people would do? But here comes the part that’s been bugging me. New friends? How d’you get them? Do you    RAWR, screw this politically beating around the bush crap.

You try really hard, I can see that. Really, REALLY hard. It’s sad, yes I agree, that you’ve been ditched by your friends and all that, and I sympathize, I really do. But sometimes it just gets so weird. It gets really over the top and I sit there watching, and I’m like, okay? The super hyped up-ness and the enthu-ness, sorry I really don’t mean to be a bitch, but it’s getting to me. Who are these people? Do you even know them that well? Have you even known them for long? To an outsider, it would be seen as desperate and very very pathetic.
But I guess, like M said, I have to give you credit, for bouncing back, and not retreating into a little corner, curling up and dying. But I am still weirded out, apologies to anyone whom I may offend, but I cannot stand people who try so hard to make friends or get people to like them. I think you should just be yourself, not this creature who’s scrambling around trying to make people like them. Oh my, I know. I know who you remind me of. Oh yuck.

I hope it stops soon D:
I’m sorry if I come off sounding like an insensitive, unfeeling bitch, but if you were me, you would so feel the same way so don’t you try to judge.

Camp’s over.

Yes well I feel rly bummed right now, I miss it so much. It’s like a week in a completely different world rly, a world where things are just different. Which is I guess why things like CFs can begin ( Ha ha I think the only person that knows what that stands for doesn’t rly read this blog. ) Well I didn’t have a CF this year, contrary to what other people may think!!

This camp was quite a different experience for me. I surprised myself actually, ha ha. I didn’t rly have ONE specific person/bunch I went with, unlike usually. Sometimes I’d go with Alicia, sometimes Joy, or Mel or Joey (when she’s free) and sometimes with the guys? And the nicest thing was, that I felt completely at home no matter what. I guess that’s a benefit of being me, I can get along with most people, I just have to try. And now I don’t see what’s holding me back from doing what I want to, and embrace the huge change that will come with it.

I want to talk about the last night, as always. I blogged about the last night last year too. Only thing, last year was Emo Night.
This year was good, even though I was feverish and quite sick, I still stayed up. Stupid I know, but I couldn’t bring myself to go to bed. Hung around in the Hall with the Soccer guys and the older younger ones. Lepaked there till about 7, then Andrew Linping Shaun & Me went for breakfast. Came back, fell asleep at Danny’s table while he wrote letters, struggled my way through breakfast, died during clean-up, slept again while Jason sat there eating (OOH I just realized it was Danny&Jason!) then went back for closing, sat with the guys, (kept laughing at them, obviously), camp ended, went home. Then I crashed out and woke up at 1030 with crazyass fever.

I miss people, I want a never ending YF camp.
Change has come babes.

So let so, go, go of the past now
Say hello to the love in your heart
Yes, I know that the world’s spinning fast now
You gotta get yourself a brand new start

I feel so blue now. Blue like Dr. Drakken!
 Bye